Will the Real Mormons Stand Up and Sound the Alarm?

After being active in the Church for a year after my rebaptism I was eligible to have my blessings restored which means that if they considered my repentance complete my standing in the Church would once more be just like it had been before I apostatized over 25 years ago. I was required to write a letter to President Monson expressing my desire to have my blessing restored and explaining why I thought I deserved it. When I wrote my letter I chose not to withhold anything which might later be held against me so I explained that my testimony does not require me to believe that all of our leaders have been true to their callings and that I did not consider the Pearl of Great Price completely credible. When President Monson sent a member of the Quorum of Seventy to restore my blessings I repeated those things about my testimony to him. He did not rebuke me or tell me that my testimony marked me as unworthy. While attending an adult Institute of Religion class shortly after having my blessings restored, I mentioned the above experience because I felt the example of tolerance given by President Monson and the Seventy who restored my blessings was worthy of note. But, someone in the class knew better and I endured an exchange of emails from a brother who felt it his duty to make me feel that my testimony was sorely lacking because he felt that it had to be all or nothing when it comes to believing the standard works of the Church. Some local leaders and members desire to hold me to a higher standard than do the general authorities. A year or so later I stood up in Fast and Testimony Meeting and told the congregation how I had stood up against racism and the then current secret practice of polygamy in California. I told them how the bad treatment I received caused me to get involved in an intense study of our history which resulted in my discovery of things which led me to believe that the Lord had cast off the Latter-Day Saints. Consequently, I left the Church for twenty five years. After the meeting I noticed that some of the Saints were more friendly towards me and some were less so. The “All is well in Zion” crowd got rougher with me than the racists did over 25 years ago. I was scheduled to give a talk in Sacrament Meeting soon. Before the time came I discovered that reactions to my testimony had reached people with influence in the Stake. Someone told me I should show the Bishop and the Stake President copies of my talk for approval, because of the passion I displayed in that testimony, or so they said. It was obvious that they had no intention of telling me who was stabbing me in the back and they did not have the courage of their convictions or they would have told me just what it was in my testimony that they didn’t like. If being passionate in giving one’s testimony was good reason to make one feel scrutinized a lot of members would not be able to give a talk without it being approved. They obviously wanted to destroy my self confidence and they didn’t mind lying to me. I’m not surprised that I wasn’t allowed to give the talk. It contained more truth than some of the Saints are ready for, although I did not include the things which I had found to be very upsetting. I eventually discovered the reason at least one member didn’t like my testimony. He said it was inappropriate because in was about things in the past. He is apparently of that same mind set as those who prefer to cover up our past. The opposition I faced was hard on my self confidence, but the Lord helped me with that when I was asked to administer a blessing to someone who had been in an accident. I’m afraid I am lacking in faith to be healed. I sometimes entertain feelings that I deserve the bad health which robs me of strength because of the many years I was angry at the Lord. When I first came back to the Church I was shuffling around like an old man. I don’t have good balance so I still have to be careful. Though I am stronger than I was when I came back to the Church about six years ago, the damage which has been done to my wrists and my lack of stamina still seriously restricts my activities. I came back so that I could be a good example to my children and my grandchildren. That my beloved wife is much happier now has made it all worth while. One of my favorite sayings about these so-called golden years is that being a broken down old fart is worthwhile because of my kids, and grandchildren and the fact that my wife still loves me and sticks by me. It has been about six years since I was re-baptized and it has been busy. I am back and ready to fight for my beliefs. Doing so without doing harm to the testimonies of the other members requires caution so I often bite my tongue during Sunday School Class. I recently threw caution to the wind in Sunday School class and talked about the false doctrine which figured in my leaving the Church. I didn’t tell the class that Brigham Young was the source of that false doctrine. The last one to speak to that class remarked “That goes to show that you shouldn’t listen to things people claim to be doctrine.” Later, when I passed him in the hall he gave me a very friendly self-satisfied smile. I’ll bet more Baptists than Mormons know about Brigham Young’s false doctrine. On a Saturday evening while watching television after a busy day we experienced an electrical surge. In the air conditioner closet we heard some snapping and popping as smoke began pouring out of our VCR and lights began fading on and off. After turning off all the power strips I turned off the main breaker, opened the doors, and called the fire department. After going through the house and attic one of the firemen told us we would have to leave the house until an electrician could make it safe. As our plight became known we received invitations to stay in the homes of ward members. Sylvia was praying for an electrician when a friend dropped by and assured the fireman in charge that he would make certain it was safe for us to remain in the house before he left. It was nearly midnight before he left. On Sunday, after teaching a class at church, he was a member of our ward, he showed up about noon to continue checking for burned wiring. He also called S.M.U.D. (our local power provider) out and they made temporary repairs to the incoming electrical service line where it had been damaged by tree branches and/or rodents and by late evening we had power to the house once more. It’s good to be around so many Latter-Day Saints who are really great people. They are a happy, hard working people and few of them show any results of the persecution in the history of the Church. Unfortunately, one of the symptoms is looking at those who disagree with them as enemies. The result for those few in that category is the shutdown of their nurturing mode. When you disagree with one of their favorite beliefs they will turn into critics instead of trying to change your mind. Yes, Latter-Day Saints are a cross section of everyday people and some of them behave like radical political activists who come face to face with solid opposition.