The Memoirs of a Married Woman
One Woman’s Journey Within Multiple Marriages and the Escapades In-Between
by
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The Memoirs of a Married Woman
Pills and alcohol, the mixture we all seem to turn to in hopes of washing away the pain. My hope is that I will wake up in the morning and Kane will be home. Caroline will be in her bed sleeping peacefully and I will not be pregnant with another man’s baby.
As this magical sleep potion, I have taken begins its mind control, I do everything but sleep. The reality and pain I am trying to forget are now so overwhelming, I have no place else to go but down. The downward spiral of what my life has become is spinning fast. The crying has stopped. My emotions have changed. I am now angry. I am becoming very angry.
I hate you, Kane Grant! I hate what you have done to me. I hate you for taking my child from me. I hate my wedding ring! I hate every picture of us happy together. It is all a lie! I am completely losing control. I trash our bedroom, then I open the doors to Kane’s side of the closet.
“Well, well, Mr. Grant. Since you were in such a hurry to leave me, you seem to have forgotten a few things.”
I grab some hair cutting shears from the bathroom and proceed to cut up every piece of clothing that Kane left behind.
I am getting very thirsty and my breathing is heavy. I make my way to the kitchen. As I open the cupboard doors for a glass, I see the fine china we received as a wedding gift. Taking a tea cup from the china set, I fill it with water from the tap. My emotions are calming down but I also feel a rush of sadness coming over me. Tears are returning once again. I take a swallow of water. I focus on the cup, which is a delicate soft blue and silver flower pattern.
My eyes are getting blurry and I am feeling light-headed. Memories flood my mind of how happy we were the day we received this china. We talked of all the holiday dinners we would serve on this china and one day pass down to our children.
Anger! Anger has come again. I grab a stack of the china plates and head toward the back door of the house. One by one I toss plates into the big pine tree in the backyard. With every broken plate, I curse Kane.
“Fuck you Kane! Fuck your whore Maria too! I hate you, Kane! I wish I had never met you! Look what you have done to my life! You broke every promise you ever made to me! You have left me and I am alone! God help me! Make the pain stop!”
When the last piece of china is broken, I head into the living room and take full inventory of what I have done. I feel as if I have just died.
“What have I done? Look at my beautiful home!”
Screaming and pulling my hair, I fall to the floor. My body feels strange, my head hurts, my chest feels heavy and it’s hard to breathe. I still feel sore from inflicting blow after blow to my stomach. I am getting scared. I don’t feel right. I feel hot, no I am
cold! I need… I need to lie down. I pass out on the living room floor.
“Diana, Diana, wake up! Please wake up!”
“ Stop! Stop shaking me!”
“Diana, talk to me!”
“Victor?”
“Diana, what has happened here? What did you take?”
“Everything,” I mumble.
“Everything? What does that mean?”
I again, pass out.
Victor wastes no time getting me to the base hospital. I am in and out of consciousness but I do hear Victor yelling…
“Help! I need help here!”
I feel my body being lifted out of the car. Why are they strapping me down? I want to tell them to stop but my mouth won’t move. My eyes, won’t open! Why can’t I open my eyes? Oh my God! Where am I?
I feel people touching me and I hear the doctor asking me questions but it sounds like he is far away, like he is in another room. I don’t know if I am answering his questions or not. My body feels numb but at the same time, I feel heavy as if something is holding me down. My breathing is shallow. It seems as if my mind is awake but my body is asleep.
Oh my God! What are you doing to me? I can’t move! I am strapped down! A tube! The doctor is shoving a tube down my throat! I can’t breathe! Stop! Please stop! A nurse is holding my head forcefully so I can’t move. She whispers in my ear…
“Calm down, just breathe, relax, it will be over soon.”
The tube is in place. I begin to feel pressure in my stomach as if my insides are being pulled out. Oh my God! I am in hell! I just want to die!
I am beginning to feel more cognizant of what is going on around me. I have opened my eyes and I see that I am in the hospital emergency room. My body is shaking and I am freezing. I can now clearly hear the doctor speaking to me as he proceeds to scold me.
“Diana, you know this was a stupid thing to do to yourself.”
As the tears fall down my face, all I can think of is why? Why has Kane left me in this hell?
“Diana, I am now going to put charcoal into your stomach to absorb any poison or toxins that may be left.
Looking at the doctor, I surrender to what is happening to me. I wonder about the child inside me. What have I done? Will it survive this? Do I want it to survive?
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About the Book
Every little girl dreams of her wedding day. Author Elyzabeth D’Amore remembers walking down the aisle to the man of her dreams. Her soulmate. Her true love. The man she will have children with and live happily ever after. She remembers walking down the aisle “again” thinking this is the one. The man she has been waiting for. She has truly found her soulmate, and they are going to live happily ever after. And, then, D’Amore remembers walking down the aisle “again” to her knight in shining armor. He’s the man who has saved her, the one with whom she has found deep love and devotion. She plans to grow old with him and live happily ever after. Chronicling secret passion and affairs, The Memoirs of a Married Woman, D’Amore shares the story of her marriages and relationships and how she learned and grew with each. She tells how the journey helped her discover that happiness starts within and not with a wedding ring. It narrates a story about a woman searching for family, security, and a connection between a man and woman that will last.
About the Author
Elyzabeth D’Amore is an author, wife, mother, grandmother, and friend. She lives happily with her fifth (and last) husband and their two pups in the North Georgia mountains. D’Amore is currently working on the second installment of The Memoirs of a Married Woman.