Sometimes It Takes an Elephant
by
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The next morning, Tiba woke like any other day. It wasn't until breakfast that Tiba remembered. It was when Tiba was telling Rumble about picking their own seats and how Tiba was going to save one nearby for Zamboo.
Remembering Zamboo was gone was like having a huge rock fall on your birthday cake and crush it.
All the happiness was squeezed out of Tiba's heart.
Suddenly, Tiba did not want to go to school or talk or anything else. Everything was ruined. Tiba started to cry. How was Tiba supposed to go to school like nothing was wrong? It just wasn't fair!
Rumble's big soft head was suddenly leaning lightly against Tiba's. They sat like that while the tears and words poured out. Finally, when Tiba became quieter and a little hiccuppy, Rumble said, "No one expects you to forget Zamboo or pretend it's the same. A friend is always with us in our heart even when that heart feels bruised. Talk about Zamboo at school, with the herd, with me.
"Let your feelings out. Talk them out. Draw them out. Stamp or dance or run them out. Sing or shout or rap them out."
"We can't wish the accident away and Zamboo alive again. But we can let our feelings loose while we celebrate our memories."
Adults: Any of the last few pages could be a place to start a conversation. Why might Tiba feel afraid? Does your child feel afraid when bad things happen? Suggest one of
the ideas about working out feelings such as dancing and see if this fits for your child. This would be a good time to draw or act out either Tiba or themselves doing one of the activites listed.
It's normal for children to regress at the time of a loss. They depend on us to keep them safe. A desire to go back to a parent's lap and feel comforted, secure and protected from harm may be expected. Ask children what makes them feel safe.
At the same time, children expect adults to know what to do in an emergency, to be able to fix bad things. Address this with your child. Let him know he's safe, even when the situation can't be fixed. Ask her what safety feels like. How can adults provide that feeling?
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About the Book
Young Tiba the elephant has a lot of emotions and isn't always sure what do with them, especially when those emotions are related to loss. One day, Tiba loses a favorite hat--a reminder of a friend who moved away. Tiba becomes upset and has trouble thinking clearly. It feels like there's a whole bee's nest inside Tiba's chest. This is grief, and it happens often.
When Tiba experiences failure at school, the same negative emotions intrude. Tiba wallows in anger and sadness, but there are ways to heal even the deepest emotional wounds. It's important for young elephants to talk about their emotions and learn from loss. Sometimes, it's helpful to just look at pictures of the ones we miss--but always be open to healing.
Today, young people experience incredible pressure brought about by multiple losses in their lives and around them. More than ever, they need guidance in creating a language to express themselves and begin to cope in healthy ways. Adults also need direction in guiding youth. Sometimes It Takes an Elephant is a unique guide that allows adults to engage children about grief in an entertaining, playful way. Together, parents and children can learn to express difficult emotions and ask difficult questions.
About the Author
Patricia Campbell, M.Div.,M.S.,is a masters level therapist with over twenty years' experience working with children, teens, and families. In addition, she has seven years' experience as a hospice chaplain. She has seen the impact of unresolved loss and grief on emotional health and hopes to teach people how to cope. Campbell currently lives in LaGrange Park, Illinois.