One Side Inside Out
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Diagnosed as bipolar at the age of twenty-one, I turned to writing as an outlet to discover my feelings of the then and now of my journey. The then portion of this collection was written twenty years ago in journals as I suffered a mental breakdown and was told by medical professionals that I had a mental illness. My writing was a way to express my emotions of where I was in the world at that time. Since then, I worked on myself, coming to terms with my illness and working toward treatment goals. I stopped my treatment several times, thinking I didn’t need medication. I was then thrust back to chaos.
The now portion of this book was written twenty years later, after going to college, experiencing stability, and working with doctors. The now is a collection of writings about where I am now. This twenty-year difference shows that through hard work and commitment to treatment, a diagnosis of a mental disorder does not define me. I am now a successful registered nurse. Hard work and commitment put in through these past twenty years show me that I am not defined by a disorder. The writing shows my strength and ability to cope with a life-altering condition.
I share my collection of the then and now thoughts in hope of showing that mental disorder does not have to overcome us. We can overcome it.
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About the Book
Author Elizabeth Kelly was diagnosed with bipolar disorder at the age of twenty-one, and at the beginning of her journey, she turned to writing as a form of expression, finding herself navigating through her experiences.
Now, twenty years later, Kelly returns to writing with new perspective, seeing her own transformation and growth over the years. The shadow and shame of her disorder are gone, and she has discovered a new appreciate of process, having experienced stability and worked with doctors who have made a difference in her life. Kelly’s earlier work shows where she began, while her present-day poems focus on where she is now. The difference between the two shows that through hard work and commitment to treatment, a diagnosis of a mental disorder does not have define the person who receives it. Through her verses, Kelly hopes to shine a light on mental illness in order to increase understanding and acceptance and to banish judgment.
In this collection of poetry, one woman paints a long-term portrait of mental illness through sets of poems written twenty years apart as she moved from confusion to clarity.
About the Author
I grew up on the peninsula of the bay near San Francisco, California. After twenty years, I decided not to live in the shadow and shame of my disorder. A shadow created over my life at twenty-one, I was riddled with a new condition, a condition to be managed and fostered over the next twenty years and a lifetime. At the beginning of my journey, I turned to writing as a form of expression; finding myself navigating through my experiences. I opened my books twenty years later with a new perspective. I write again and see a true transformation and growth. The shadow and shame of my disorder are now gone, and an appreciation of process found. I share my writing with all who want to see that growth in the light of struggle is possible. Thanks to support and love, an understanding is born.
It is important to me to show that being diagnosed with a mental disorder is not the defining aspect of my life. It is a gift to have clarity and knowledge that with treatment, true success is possible. I was able to finish college with a bachelor’s degree in nursing, and today I am a registered nurse. To this day I continue to hide this part of my history in fear of judgment. Through this publication, I hope to encourage more light to shine on mental illness for the purposes of understanding and acceptance. I use a pen name for fear of judgment. I have hope that one day clarity and understanding for all are recognized and judgment cease.