A Spark in the Darkness

The Start of my Sparks

I feel certain that I, as well as every person, was born with a spark inside their soul. When I say spark, I am referring to a deep rooted feeling, or a belief, perhaps it is a knowingness that our life on this earth is truly a gift and it is meant to be good. Life is not to be trudged through in my opinion. The spark is simply hope. Hope is unexplainable. Perhaps there are some of us who simply listen to our inner voice that will say that anything is possible. I’ve always heard a tiny whisper that states that it all truly is possible!

I have had several very dark and traumatic experiences thus far in my life. In looking back at them, I can state that the spark never faded within, or failed to be ignited when needed. I am not, nor have I ever felt that I was a victim in this life. My darkest experience was when my oldest daughter died suddenly. I was angry and confused, and terribly sad, but I wasn’t a victim. I grew to believe that there must be a reason. When I woke up to find myself in a hospital and was paralyzed, I didn’t feel victimized. Where does the spark come from? Don’t we all wonder about this in our darkness?

When was the beginning of my sparks? I always knew that life was to be enjoyed. Then I became a mom. I found out that my first born daughter was very ill with a severe heart defect. I prayed for a spark. Fear does that to one. Love can cause darkness, if love is threatened, (I loved my daughter very much) it can turn to a black fear at the thought of losing the one you love dearly. In the darkness (fear) a spark is a precious gift to receive.

A spark can simply be inner strength along with hope. I determined that when my daughter was ill. I discovered that it was true, if you ask for help, you will receive it.

Through every dark experience, I asked for a spark. I found that there was not a way that I could be a victim of life. A spark received is free. The key is all in the asking.

Who gives out the free sparks? Where do they come from? Do the Angels?

Is it God? Do they have a magic wand and zap those who ask? Do they walk amongst society offering sprinkles of joy? Perhaps it doesn’t matter as no person can state for a fact where the sparks come from.

I’ve often wondered why there is such misery amongst society. Are there people who are afraid to ask for a spark? Are they afraid to ask for help? Are sparks only for a select few people on earth? The only thing that I did to gain strength is say a prayer in my mind and somehow there was someone who heard me. I don’t know who heard, I can only tell you that I was never left without or never felt alone during my trial. There was not one single dark experience that I faced that a spark wasn’t there within. When I was young I had heard, in my church, that all any person needs in order to receive, is a mustard seed of faith. I went to an Episcopalian Christian church. I am not preaching religion; I am just stating what I had heard as a child in church. Somehow all that I had listened to about God seem to sink in and prepare me for future experiences.

The beginning of my sparks therefore started in my childhood. Listening played a large role in receiving. Belief doesn’t always come that easy for everyone. I believe that having proof of what I had been told in church has made me a whole person today. I have received the proof.

I suppose that every person can receive a spark after asking for help, and then turn around and feel victimized by the world. Attitude plays a role in happiness. Even in my darkest of dark, I found it helpful to be thankful for a spark (hope).