Chapter 1 - Admit your Weakness
Be honest now; are you fed up with being controlled by people who don't give a damn about you? If so, understand this simple statement:
This control stops right here, right now!
Unless you're a convicted and imprisoned criminal, you have not abrogated your entitlement to be free, to utilize your talents, to captivate fresh opportunities and "to boldly go" wherever your mind and heart transport you. Unless the law decrees otherwise, never surrender this core human tenet to someone who would treat you as their prisoner. You were born free so live free.
Today is the first day of the rest of your life
Look around you. How much of what you are is down to what other people expect you to be? How much is about you fulfilling their expectations, meeting their dreams and complying with their preconceptions? These people have told you - explicitly or by implication - that you have no value unless you consistently comply with their persona for you.
You are no puppet, you are no doormat, you are uniquely you. You dance to your own tune and you need no strings to hold you down.
So, where do you begin?
Throw away this third party specification, deafen your ears to the self-criticism that you've been programmed to play in your head when your unwelcome thoughts of independence have threatened the 'Stepford Wifeness' of the status quo. You are what you choose to be, you are the master of your own universe and in charge of your own destiny. Start by redefining yourself and appreciate, above all else, your beautiful mind.
Where is your Achilles Heel?
Even the great Achilles had a weak spot. In his case it was the ankle held by Thetis, his mother, as she dipped him in the River Styx. So, I ask again, where is yours?
Note that having a weak spot does not make you a weak person. Going back to the great Achilles, I wonder how many Trojans learned that lesson the hard way?
Overcoming weakness is a multi-stage process which begins with the admission that you actually have at least one. This admission is a strong thing to do and not weak in any way. Not only that, the implications of self-deceit a are manifold and even a simple deception can result in a viral like complication. In more pictorial terms, happiness that arises through the ignoring of a weakness is as genuine as the smile on the face of a manikin.
Don't allow your castle to be built on sand. Your goal must be to develop and possess the inner confidence needed to identify and acknowledge your flaws and imperfections. It's infinitely better to admit a fault than to pretend that everything is just hunky-dory and go and put on that manikin's painted grin.
In extreme cases, it could even kill you if you never seek treatment or talk to someone about your weakness. It's that serious.
Per ardua ad astra (through struggle to the stars)
Having admitted your weaknesses, you need to develop a detailed and consistent strategy for change. While some changes may be a 'simple' matter of stopping doing one thing or religiously doing another, many will be more complex, requiring multiple stage behavior modifications or deep rooted alterations to thought processes and habits. In such cases, you will need to develop a series of gradual steps that will lead you to your chosen goal while 'deprogramming' your mind from a habit that you need to lose.
If the idea of taking such small steps troubles you, remember how one man unforgettably turned a small step into a giant leap for mankind. Humbling, isn't it? Small steps are good if they eventually lead to these giant leaps and they'll do just that if you've got the endurance and belief needed to propel you
Empty your mind of all the negativity that has been allowed to take residence there. Stand up for yourself and reject the negative words that have held you back. Your mind is a powerful and intriguing tool which can be effectively used to satisfy the needs of your inner soul and to strengthen weaknesses.
It's so very easy to get stuck in a rut. That's a direct consequence of one-track thinking and it often comes about when you've had others satisfying their own ends by downplaying your intelligence. Such people are very capable of coveting the talents of others and they think nothing of turning you into a lifeless husk by feeding off the subjugation of your common and cognitive senses.
When you are no longer a hostage of others or a slave to a self-destructive and fake habit, when you see only your own potential and what can be achieved with a positive attitude, you will find a wonderful reward awaiting you. You will enter a world of peace and tranquility; a world where you can handle even complex adverse situations with dexterity, and a place that is packed full of possibilities. You will not head off down dead end roads nor will you be lost on twisting detours to nowhere, your highway will stretch ahead of you into the sunshine. It is a thing of very great beauty and you will see it as such.