Just as bloodlines define the characteristics of dogs, so do the bloodlines of people. Within the cells of some bloodlines lie demon seeds that like viruses, lie dormant until hate gives them life. They grow strong with greed, sprouting their way through their family’s lives like thistles, hiding spiked acts of cruelty behind deceptively pretty acts of kindness. They'll show their faces in dehumanizing ways meant to strip their victims of their identity:
Relax… Chill Out…I’m not saying this to be mean but…I could use a wife for about six weeks…I don't have any use for her…I'll make it up to you…You would just waste it…I was just kidding…You’re too sensitive…I've got a surprise for you…If I know my wife…It wasn’t my fault…You made me do it…I thought of everyone but myself…Do you really think that looks good...It's high definition…You sound great…That was graceful…I'll help you any way I can…She'll get over it…It was worse for me…She's fine…It's not the money, it's who it's going to…Silence.
But with pure love, a kind brave heart, family and friends, the weeds can be pulled and the demon seeds killed.
The Relationship Guide:
Marriage Material/ Are we ready?
When you're ready to look beyond dating and consider marriage to a man, you should plan some quiet time to take your starry-eyed glasses off and take a good look at yourself and your current life situation and the current life situation of the man you are considering marrying. In a notebook, have separate pages for you and your partner and list what each of you will bring into the marriage. Here are some things to consider:
Job Status and Stability - Do you both have a jobs with health benefits and are you both in good standing with them? Most lending institutions like to see a two or more year job history, you should expect the same from each other. It shows work ethic and reliability to some degree. How do you both feel about who you work for? Are you happy? Do either of you post negative comments about your jobs on social media sites? If either of you are unhappy, your job status may change causing your job history to go back to zero. If you plan to make a job change, consider completing any actions that will require a credit check prior to leaving.
Family Medical History - It's important to gather a complete and accurate medical history on each of you to consider conditions that may affect your life now and in the near and long term future, and inherited conditions that may affect you later in life. Inherited conditions may have early warning signs that can trigger red flags that will aid in early detection, as long as you know about them. Know what the early warning signs are, and review them at least yearly to keep them fresh in your memory so your instinct reacts with automatic clarity, like a lump in the breast sends an automatic warning signal in a woman.
Alcohol and Drug Use - Ideally, alcohol or drug use is a choice, but it is important to understand the immediate and long-term effects that both will have on your brain, body and life. Understand that any alcohol and drug use, whether over the counter or prescribed, can lead to addiction. Research and understand completely any addictions either self-imposed or that are hereditary to both family histories. Research the effects and the withdrawal symptoms of any drugs or alcohol involved, even if you don’t feel there’s a problem. It can give you early warning signs if usage is leading to addiction.
Have a Life - Apply the Golden Rule to yourself. Does he treat you in the same manner that he expects you to treat him? Does he have a life and does he respect yours? Does he have goals and dreams and does he pursue them or does he just talk ambitiously and accomplish nothing. Does he encourage you to pursue your interests and explore your passions or does he want to be your only interest? Does he respect your choices that differ from his? Is he confident with himself or is he desperate and clingy? Does he easily express how he is feeling, when he’s happy and when he’s mad and does control his reactions?
Know Yourself, Know Him - The more you know yourself, the better you'll be able to balance your life with somebody else's. Be aware of his habits, good and bad, and be ready to except him for who he is today, he won't magically change in the future. Take your time getting to know him, disagree with him to see how he reacts. Does he make promises and keep them on his own or do you have to remind him? Do his words match his actions? Does he make you feel happy and confident or sad and doubtful? When he discusses his extended family, are they and their happiness his priority or is your happiness and his impending life with you his priority? Does he respect his mother? If you're in doubt of anything about the relationship, trust yourself and your instincts first and allow the relationship more time to work out all of the 'red flag' issues prior to marriage.
Open Mind - Except each other for who you are today, and expect each other to change as time go by, for better and for worse.