Decision

Chapter 1

My name is Madison Moore. I’m eighteen. I live in Whitefish city, Montana. For me, this is a beautiful city. Full of memories. Good and bad ones. Unfortunately, as most of the smaller cities, it’s going to disappear before long. Bigger cities always incorporate small ones. But this place has an enchanting power. Anyone travelling here can see what others may never see. Like when you enter a room then leave it after a while. Some won’t even know where they were, but others might find interest in the color of the wall, the smell of furniture and the strange creak of the floor. This city is just like that. People who have been here once always remember something. They will remember it forever. Looking at the huge trees, the forests standing tall on the mountains gives me the creeps. I always desired to go into the dense pine-land alone, and alone only. But there’s always something pulling me back, not fear, but a simple feeling, a hunch not to go in. For there awaits something, or someone, who is different from me. Beyond the mountains is my favorite place, the lake. It’s not so far from the city and everyone who can, comes here for relaxation. The water is incredibly transparent; you can see the fish and plants living down there. If I bend close to the surface, I can see myself crystal clear in it. Each time when I do this, I expect something to happen. Something that changes everything, taking away all the bad things and leaving behind only what is good. Sometimes I expect to feel what I do on Christmas mornings – that this day is different from the rest and anything is possible. This place is dazzling. We tend to come here with my friends, because it never gets boring. We always make up for an occasion and simply have fun. We enjoy everything we can. Our population is not so high, compared to a global city it is rather small. But big enough to avoid the annoyance of stupid people. There wouldn’t be smart people without them though. It is one week sharp since my twelfth grade exams. At last I’m done with the long years of studying. I could say that I’m relieved, no more exams and compulsory classes beside many other things. From this aspect, it is true, I mean, it’s over, but it’s never completely over no matter what we are talking about. I agree with my grandfather saying that people never stop learning until they die. There will be new things we can use for our benefit. Even though 63, he keeps saying that he’s still learning. He is absolutely right, there is always something new to learn. But it matters whether you study geometry, radicals or atomic physics, or useful things that interest you. I believe that there are a lot of things important to others, but indifferent to me. What is interesting depends on the individual. And what’s important for me? That’s a very good question. I’m not the type to be always in the center. But I’m unspeakably glad that in these years I made a bunch of new friends – even too much, maybe. And I really feel that they are true friends, with whom I can share everything and I can count on them no matter what. I like to be with them, thus not being at home for the time being at least. I’m always filled with a kind of joy upon meeting the parents of any of my friends, because it’s like in the films in which everyone keeps smiling and behaves kindly to one another. They can settle things without raising their voices. I don’t care if this superb image is just a make-believe because anger and maleficence lie everywhere. As long as I see families like this, I believe that it exists, and once I can have one, too. A happy family. My family is so strange. I would use a better word to describe, but there’s none. For example when I say “flower”, everyone knows what a flower is. Everyone would imagine it, no matter in what exact shape and color, but a flower. They have hundreds and hundreds of types. A vast score. But my family would be hard to describe, it is different for everyone, and so it is for me, different. Yesterday I went home late all alone. The others always offer me a lift or their company, but somehow I always refuse. They’re afraid that something bad, something tragic will happen to me. In turn I love walking home alone, because I want something to happen. Not something bad of course. Nay. It was raining heavily on my way home and we had a strong wind as well. But I love rain and its scent, and getting wet doesn’t bother me. When I reached the black iron bar fence, it came to my mind that I no longer live here. Only father and his new girlfriend Lizz live here. I felt dumb for getting to the place. Talking about home I still think of this place, although it has been more than half a year. Thus I went on, striding in the rain to the place where I currently live with mother. Our house is on the edge of the forest, not very far from anything because there are no great distances here, but I’m still glad we don’t live right in the city center. I think this is one of the most beautiful houses I’ve ever seen. The two of us live together in this huge house. Mother works for an estate-agency, so getting this house for a fair price was easy. I love being in the backyard, because I feel half in the forest. I sit there often, pondering and staring into the distance through the thick woods. I don’t tell anyone or they would think me insane. I often feel that someone is there, or something is there looking at me, just as I am looking at it. But I never share these ideas of mine with anyone, because they wouldn’t understand me, and label me strange. This house is quite old, probably more than 100 years. Everything in it is the original; the previous lodgers left them. We don’t know anything about them; the agency took the house over after some complications. And thus we could get it easily. Just like in the case of the city, I have many memories attached to this house. And fortunately I have had only good ones so far. Everything I look upon triggers a happy feeling inside me, like looking at dogs makes me smile – that’s how it feels living here. Perhaps I love animals so much for their innocence; they just live and love and do not worry about anything. They only ask to be loved. There’s a big swing-bed in the garden, which always squeaks and tingles when the wind blows stronger. Everything that is old appears to speak.