Daily Hassles of Being a Kid
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DAILY HASSLE #1
Cleaning My Bedroom
Mom expects me to clean my room... WAAAY too often.
It’s true! Mom’s ALWAYS telling me to clean my room. Cleaning is the absolute last thing that a kid would ever want to do. Parents know that. There are way too many other things that I could be doing instead of cleaning like playing on my laptop, riding my skateboard, playing video games, or anything else in the world.
I think that it would be much easier if Mom could just have my brother do it, or hire a nanny, or program a robot to clean my room! If my room didn’t get so messy, it wouldn’t be such a problem to clean, but somehow my room does get messy. I clean my room, and a few days later its messy all over again. I don’t even know how it happens. At least that’s what I tell Mom.
I bet that Mom NEVER had to clean her room when she was a kid. I bet that she got away with just throwing all of her toys in her closet or just stuffing them under her bed. Her mom probably never even checked to see if her bedroom was clean. Now that she’s a Mom, she doesn’t let anything slide because of all the tricks that she pulled as a kid. The worst part is Mom expects the room to be spotless; she checks EVERYTHING. How’s a kid supposed to deal with that?
Maybe I should try telling Mom to clean her own room, and see how that goes. Nah, that’s not a very good idea. Very bad things could happen.
Something that probably should be brought up, there are a few weird things that seem to be happening in my room that I am kind of scared to go near. I don’t think that Mom even knows what is going on in there. First of all, there is an odd smell coming from somewhere in my room, but I can’t tell where exactly that stench is coming from. I’ve only had food in here a couple of times (without Mom knowing of course) but that was over 6 months ago. Come to think of it, I don’t remember what I did with that piece of pizza that didn’t get eaten in here last month.
There is also that strange lump of fuzzy greenish-gray stuff that’s growing in my closet. That lump used to be... well, I am not sure what is used to be, but that lump seems to be growing fuzzier every day. I, certainly, don’t think that I should be the one to get that mess out of my closet. Especially, since I can’t even tell what is. That lump of fuzz could be some strange mutation, and if I touch it, that fuzz would instantly infect me and turn me into a mutant-undead-zombie or something. I can picture Mom calling me down for lunch, then me walking right past her with both my arms stretched out in front of me and repeating, “BRAINS” over and over again. I don’t think that Mom would be very happy if that happened.
If Mom knew about that fuzzy mess, I am sure that she would see it my way, and have a Biohazard waste removal swat team come get that toxic mess out of my closet. I don’t think that Mom has any idea what she is dealing with here. Mom better get that mess cleaned up before there’s a major problem, and EVERYONE in the house gets turned into flesh eating zombies.
Not so long ago, I remember Mom cleaning my room for me. I never had to worry about anything back then. Any mess that I made, she would clean up for me. Then one day everything changed... for the worse. When I was way too little to understand, Mom told me to clean up the mess of blocks that I had made all over my bedroom floor. Needless to say, I did what any kid would do, I screamed loud enough for the neighbors down the street to hear. In the end, Mom still made me pick-up every block, and she didn’t even help! From that day forward, life has not been same.
The worst part is, the older I get, the more that Mom expects me to clean. Not only am I expected to clean my room now, but I am also expected to clean my mess after breakfast, put away all of my supplies after I get done with a project, clean up the juice that I spilled all over the floor, bring my dirty clothes to the laundry room... the list goes on and on. This seems to be a major problem that needs to have a remedy for me and other kids to have fun being kids while we can.
My fix for the problem.
In my opinion, parents need to figure out how to keep the house clean all on their own. I don’t think that is very smart of Mom to chance having her kids turned into zombies, eating her and the rest of the family’s brains. So, I think that it is safest for whole the family to have us kids stay clear of cleaning our rooms or any other cleaning for that matter.
The best option, I think, as I said earlier, my parents should just get a robot that keeps the house clean, does all of the laundry, does all of my chores, and maybe cooks better than Mom. That way there is no chance of a zombie attack, and we would have a better cook in the house. Mom’s cooking is a whole other problem though, but that’s how I think this problem should get solved.
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About the Book
Jacob Hayes is an average kid, and he doesn’t appreciate the responsibilities he’s expected to tackle on a daily basis.
For example, every so often, his mom will go to the basement, take a few steps down the stairs, and say, “Oh, time to change the kitty litter.” There’s nothing worse than taking out that horrible, smelly heap of litter.
And if his mom knew about the lump of greenish-gray fuzz in his closet, she might send in a biohazard waste removal team to clean his room instead of asking him to do it himself.
For every one of Jacob’s responsibilities or “hassles,” as he calls it, he has come up with his own outrageous solution. To fix his messy room problem, Jacob believes, his mom needs to find a way to keep the house clean all on her own, because if she doesn’t, everyone in the house might get turned into mutant-undead-zombies.
Jacob’s solutions or “fix,” as he calls it will have you doubled-over laughing over the Daily Hassles of Being a Kid.
About the Author
Justin Bucher has spent the past fifteen years as a writer and illustrator. His life as a writer, knack for understanding kids, and his own childish sense of humor has inspired him to write the amazing children’s books being published by him today. Justin lives in Green Bay, Wisconsin with his wife and three children.