It is uncommon for lawyers and psychologists and other mental health professionals to agree on most subjects regarding the human condition. Eureka! Recent research by the American Association of Lawyers concluded that the #1 cause of divorce in America is poor communication. Psychologists concur with that conclusion, with the qualification that breakups among married and non-married partners alike are the result of ineffective emotional communication. As the divorce rate continues to hover around 40 per cent and is significantly higher for second marriages, progress in this critical aspect of relating, has apparently come to an abrupt halt. Moreover, advances in technology are making this state of affairs even more problematic.
Couples seek counseling because of the “usual suspects” including finances, infidelity, partner abuse, sexual inactivity or disparate child rearing practices. In most, if not all cases, the inability to negotiate these and other matters is attributable to clashing egos, incompatible communication styles and resistance to change.
The return to harmony presents a new approach that entails the replacement of the ubiquitous win-lose mentality with a mutual learning mindset, and a strategy that incorporates effective conflict management skills, less ego involvement and an assortment of tools to counteract the obstacles to mature love.