Everyone Should Have a Gay Son

One day as I walked into a huge sanctuary on the University of Pennsylvania campus in Philadelphia… attending a gathering for the LGBTQ faith community and their allies. My heart brimmed with hope for our church’s new direction.

As I sat down in one of the pews, I felt such remarkable joy as I observed so many happy Christians. The place was a mix of male gay couples, lesbian couples, transsexuals, heterosexual couples, whites, blacks, Asians, Indians, male, female, young, old – a beautiful mosaic of worshipers gathered together to love God and each other. It touched my soul so deeply to see this amazing diversity. I thought to myself, “Wow. This is truly God’s Kingdom. This is how God’s family should look, people of all different sizes, shapes, proclivities and ethnicities.” I knew this had to delight God, seeing people from all walks of life gathered together in unity and worship.

Troy Perry, the founder of the Metropolitan Community Church, was speaking that day about the unity of all God’s children. I know God loves and blesses unity. I could feel the Holy Spirit move among us as we celebrated this. The experience was genuinely ethereal. The worship and music felt like heaven on earth.

As the morning sessions wrapped up, I really didn’t want to leave to go for a lunch break. I wanted to bask in this magnificent moment and the presence of God. But I also knew I needed to eat! I walked out to the street directly in front of the church looking for food options nearby. Immediately, I encountered a new group of people that depicted a completely opposite side of humanity, a very ugly side. There were protesters spewing hatred in every direction at people they didn’t even know. Some held signs with hideous messages that blocked my view. They read, “God hates fags,” “You are an abomination,” “God hates you,” and other vile messages that, in my mind, did not reflect the loving God I worshiped and served. It felt like I had dropped from paradise right into a war zone. They rushed at me yelling horrible, unfathomable things. Megaphones magnified the sound of strangers shouting, “God hates you. God hates you.” I was shocked that people were so filled with venom and loathing. When I realized they were doing it in God’s name I almost vomited.

In my world and my faith, God is not a hater. My God is Love. I have given my entire life to help people feel loved by God. Those people representing and using God’s name in such a violent and pejorative way was the opposite of love. I stood frozen in absolute disbelief. It hit me so hard. I am generally not a crier, but all I could do at that moment was cry. I have experienced protestors before, but this sudden onslaught of loathing crushed me like a boulder. It might have been the dichotomy of the situation in going from love to hatred so quickly, but whatever it was, I could not control my tears, streaming like a river down my cheeks. I cried all through lunch. I cried for the hatred that the LGBTQ community endures. I cried for what they experience on a daily basis. I cried for those that are told God hates them for who they are. I now had an insight into what my LGBTQ friends lived. No wonder so many have turned away from God. Who would want anything to do with a God that created them as different, then hated them for that exact difference?

I cried for myself, too, because it was so hurtful to have someone scream at me, “God hates you.” I cried because my God, whose Word I live by and preach, was being represented in such a horrific way. If anyone believed what these supercilious people were alleging, that God hated them for being their authentic selves, they would most certainly turn away from God, the very one who loves them most. I knew logically this was just a group of self-righteous misguided people, but it still hurt. What I did not understand was why it hurt me so deeply.

At that moment I suddenly felt more compassion than I ever did before for those who were regularly targets of such gruesome attacks. My heart ached, and still does today, to think of them subjected to such loveless barrages every single day. What I experienced in five minutes, they experience all the time. The whole scene was unbelievably heartbreaking and so unnecessary, and as ungod-like as I had ever experienced. It had to tarnish the perception of Christianity in the mind of anyone who witnessed the altercation.

I returned to the gathering after lunch looking like I had been crying for a solid hour, which I had. Surely I could stop and control myself, now that I was back in the safety of that incredible place of sanctuary. The Philadelphia Gay Men’s Chorus was singing. I listened, still crying and praying for each one of them. The Holy Spirit had put a strong message inside of me that I could no longer ignore. God was clearly showing me a path.

The road laid before me was quite simple, I needed to stop the hurt. My crying would stop, but the pain I experienced that dreadful day would remain deep in my soul. At what point did it become acceptable to be malicious in the name of Christ? This world is indeed filled with many gray tones, it is not simply black and white. I understand that many do not agree with my views and beliefs about homosexuality. However, I do hope and pray that everyone can agree that loathing and violence are not what God teaches us or condones. And so I am asking each of you reading this book to please help me to stop the hate and stop the hurt.