The Beautiful Struggle

I Was Never Enough for You

One day he asked me to kneel down at his feet.

I was becoming too tall and too strong for him.

In order for us to work, I had to walk in and

immediately kneel,

staying there until it was time to leave.

I agreed.

I wanted him more than I needed to feel my worth.

Later on, he walked over while I was kneeling to

straddle my back, demanding to be carried.

When I objected, he explained that

this was only one step past kneeling,

and we weren’t going very far.

I attempted to stand, bearing his weight on my back

and gathering my strength to lift us to a standing position.

He strangled my neck to maintain his balance.

I managed enough strength to carry us both for a brief moment.

The weight of his body began to crumble mine.

As I stumbled back down to my knees,

he chastised me, saying I had failed him,

claiming I wasn’t there for him when he needed me.

He said I wasn’t enough.

I agreed.

So I reduced myself even further,

lying facedown on the floor,

where he gladly used me as his doormat.

You Reminded Me of a Love I Once Knew

In those years, we remained strangers,

you, knowing much less about me

than I truly knew about you,

freely giving my energy for your consumption

while you yanked yours away.

Everything changed

as a result of losing you,

precipitating my spiral to rock bottom,

realizing what I would do

when I had absolutely no one to turn to.

So when I saw you, pudgy as before,

I realized it wasn’t you I fell for;

it was the remnants of him.

I’m Waiting for You to Want Me Like I Want You

Years ago, when we met,

I would have dropped it all to be with you.

Today, if you asked,

I would do it with no question.