Out of the Ghetto
A Journey from Addiction to a New Way of Being
by
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The last time I found myself locked behind bars was in the summer of 1976 while trying to score a few bags of dope on Ninth Street between avenues C and D in Alphabet City. There was a panic in the streets of New York. Heroin was a precious commodity.
On a muggy Sunday afternoon, I stood in line for well over an hour, waiting for my connection to show up. In line with me were men and women in business attire, two Hasidic Jews dressed in their full orthodox regalia, and several other street punks just like me looking for a fix.
Suddenly, all the locals disappeared into the abandoned buildings on both sides of the block. As I stood there trying to grasp the situation, six men came hauling ass down the middle of Ninth Street. I should have realized right away this was a bust, but when you are dope sick, you are focused on one thing and one thing only, getting well again.
The first question the undercover agent who placed me under arrest asked, “Are you stupid? Didn’t you see when we rolled up, everyone on the block ran, except for you idiots?”
My best apologies had no positive effect on the officer. I was cuffed and taken to central booking, eventually ending up in “The Tombs,” a detention complex in lower Manhattan, for the rest of the evening. Fortunately, the courts ruled this kind of street sweeping unconstitutional, and I left the court the next day a free man.
The epitome of my drug-induced insanity came on a day when I purchased a gram of cocaine from a local dealer. He warned me to be careful as this cocaine was “as close to pure as you can get.” But dealers all say the same bull; that their dope is the best out there. After all, like in any business, they want you to purchase their product and not their competitors’.
I raced home, locked myself in the bathroom, put half the cocaine into the cooker (usually a bent spoon or bottle cap), and let it fly. Within seconds, I knew whatever amount I just injected; was way too much. As I was losing consciousness, I prayed that God would not let me die on this day, in this manner, on my bathroom floor. My poor mother would be the one to find me dead, with a spike in my arm.
As I regained consciousness, my body was convulsing, my clothes drenched in sweat. There was blood and vomit splattered everywhere. The rig (needle and syringe) was now lying in the bathtub, unbloodied and blameless as if it did not play any role whatsoever in my near-death experience.
When I gained enough strength, I sat on the toilet and thanked God I was still alive. However, I quickly remembered I still had half the cocaine left in my pocket, and the usual “addict’s debate” ensued. One side insisting I shoot the rest of the cocaine, a.s.a.p., while the other reminded me if I did not wait at least a couple of hours, I would not experience the same intense “rush” I had earlier. Would anyone care to venture a guess on what happens next?
It took fewer than ten minutes to have the rest of the cocaine flowing through my veins. This level of insanity is almost impossible to comprehend for those who are not addicted. Family and friends will wonder why their loved ones cannot muster up enough willpower to stop using. However, trying to control addiction by willpower alone is like trying to redirect diarrhea in midstream: it’s not going to happen!
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About the Book
Sean Harrison completed his studies at one of the most prestigious medical centers in New York City in the spring of 1982. For three decades, he worked in a profession where he excelled and provided his family with a lifestyle, he never dreamed possible. For it is a far cry from his senior year of high school when his classmates voted him as “the most likely to be dead by the time he’s thirty.”
Harrison shares his life story, revealing how anyone open-minded and willing can experience a dramatic shift in consciousness, from an inner-ghetto mentality to a new way of being. Harrison focuses on what he calls the four pillars of addiction—fear, guilt, resentment, and self-pity—responsible for most of the unhappiness we see in the world today.
Out of the Ghetto is designed to help the addict and non-addict alike, offering practical ways to erase the errors of our past and begin anew. Harrison’s fundamental belief is that anyone who suffers from the pain of living can change the way they live by altering their thoughts, free from the ego’s distorted perceptions of reality.
Praise for
Out of the Ghetto
“Riveting, revolutionary, and raw, this is a book for the ages.”
—Shannon Tushingham, Ph.D., Director, Museum of Anthropology, WSU
“A gifted storyteller, Sean takes us inside his twenty-year battle with active addiction. Whether you are new to recovery or have been a seeker for many years, there is great spiritual wisdom awaiting you throughout the pages of this book.”
—Ronnie G, A grateful recovering addict, 11/25/1982
“Insightful and timely, Out of the Ghetto is a must-read for anyone charged with evaluating and treating this complex and often fatal disease.”
—Samer Assaf, MD, Internal Medicine Sharp Reese-Stealy
“Having worked in the field of addiction for over a decade, I highly recommend this book to anyone suffering directly or indirectly from its devastating effects. It is a brilliant, transparent account of one man’s journey from the hopelessness of addiction through all aspects of the recovery process in a brutally honest, humorous, and compassionate way.”
—Sharon Daverio RN, LCSW, CASAC
About the Author
Sean Harrison was born in a lower-middle-class section of New York City in 1954. After a successful thirty-two-year career in orthopedics and raising a family, he has dedicated his life to the service of others. A community activist, he is often found sharing a meal with one of his “outdoor friends” or speaking to groups of men and women locked behind bars, in detox centers, and recovery houses throughout San Diego.