The Everlasting Beautiful Journey

A long time ago, at some point at the start of the new millennium, I wrote as follows:

“The more I observe, the more I wonder. How strong the power of that restrictive self, that aching self can be, this person I have become accustomed to being. How much my brain, my mind, my thoughts are capable of setting restrictions within me, self-doubt in my abilities, boundaries that make me forget my self-worth. Gloom and hopelessness. Lack of self-love, pessimism. This hurting self is so elusive, and mostly represents my surrender to the circumstances of my past, my life’s upsets, less fortunate experiences, fears, and mediocrity. It is so elusive, that many times I could not discern where it ended and I began. Nevertheless, there is great hope within me today. This is a time of awakening. A time of regained control, of doubting that automatic, weakened self. A time of insight into its untruthfulness and of realization that it is myself who gives it—reluctantly—legitimacy and power to overcome me. The good-seeking self, who wishes to reach out to that innocent, uncomplicated, happy child that inhabited it in the past, who was supposed to mature and become who I am without all those sacrifices, without getting clouded in gray, without being chained to these weights. Without negativity as a default. A little light drives away much darkness, but most of the time, a little light is much harder to create than miles of extended darkness. Just as the feeling which only a little light brings, overcomes, and infinitely transcends many miles of prolonged darkness. Good is my life’s essence. Without it, my life has no meaning. I do not know how to live a prisoner’s life, a life of someone confined in a dark cell of inability and pessimism. Therefore, whether I liked it or not, I had to fight. Even when all I wished for was to be able to surrender and give up to the struggle against this constant and oppressive awareness. Against seeing the truth eye to eye.”

My life’s circumstances since childhood are those that brought me, indirectly, to engage in what I do: I specialize in creating internal transformation processes that influence reality perception and ultimately lead to a life full of possibility and meaning, out of freedom, power, and success. My life’s circumstances have also led me to write this book. Of course, I have no intention of getting into any detail regarding those circumstances, as these are beside the point. This story is not about me. Nevertheless, I shall simply note, in short, that these very circumstances are those that forced me to find a way to be free. A way to change, to overcome all the doubts, fears, and feelings of worthlessness I carried for many years and were instilled in me without a choice. I have dedicated my life, reluctantly, to the search of a way out of darkness, towards light, to pursuing a means to end the injustice that accosted me and to finding a way to change the negative perception of reality that was created within me and ruled me due to my life’s circumstances, for the sake of a vague and unexplained feeling within me, that an alternative exists; that I am capable of much more; that this is not the life I was meant to live and that there is no inevitability - suffering is not the Law of Nature. Being chained in shackles of mediocrity, inability, and inevitably grief as a consequence of these feelings, is not inescapable. Today I am grateful for it; for the stubbornness, the search, the self-awareness, that most of the time left me disappointed because it is not always easy to be aware of the truth. Though mainly, I am grateful for not having had a choice regarding the effect of all of these factors within me, as many times during my journey, if I had the choice, I would have surrendered. I would have stopped asking questions. I would have compromised.

I recorded in writing my volatile journey, first to map the trails and paths I had walked within an endless arena of possibilities and uncertainty which is characteristic of an individual’s subjective world, and later, due to the idea that if my luck improves, and I get through and find suitable answers, I undoubtedly must use them to help others like myself.

This book’s uniqueness is not, and does not purport to be in its innovation only. I am certain any reader may say to himself while reading any chapter that these things are known and even clear to him. Maybe, at some point, even trivial. Indeed, this is the nature of the subject matter, of the chronicle of search, ever since the times of the familiar Greek thinkers, and even before then. There is nothing new under the sun, and at the end of the day, all humans grapple with the same existential questions, and I welcome that wholeheartedly. Therefore, in my view, this book’s uniqueness, beyond its innovation, stems from it being eclectic in the sense that it relies on philosophical, psychological, spiritual, and technical tools and elements in order to create one complete holistic theory or path; in order to create an old/new language – the language of change. A language that helps us get through the difficulties that arise from within us and are present in our daily lives, towards a powerful inner ability to grasp reality differently.

It is meant to be a guide of sorts. An orientation book to be found in a purse, or a car, or a bag, or a work desk-drawer, and so forth. A book that one can, and should return to any time for reinforcement or clarity, or in order to remind oneself of some principle, which requires more demanding (and less glamorous) implementation on our routine lives, with which we need to remember or sharpen within and act according to.