What a Man Really Wants to Say about Relationships

This is one of my favorite chapters. Being the product of a single-parent home, and the fact that most of my friends were raised in single-parent homes, I was inspired to write about this subject. There are too many situations in which children are intentionally thrown in the middle of these messy divorces or breakups. I was really young when my parents got divorced, so I don’t remember a lot of back-and-forth between my parents. My brother was older, so he might remember some things, but I don’t believe it was too messy. At least my mother did not bad-mouth my dad to us on a regular basis, like some parents. As a matter of fact, she really didn’t say much of anything to us about Dad. Children don’t ask to be born, so why should they be involved with the turmoil that stems from their parents’ failed relationships?

For way too long, kids have been in the middle of divorce conflicts, bad breakups, and petty arguments. Parents have been using kids as weapons against their former significant others for way too long. It does not matter if you were married and had a child, or if the child was conceived out of wedlock. At the end of the day, the child still exists and deserves unconditional love, not confusion. Children should not be involved with the backlash of their parents’ bad decisions. It’s bad enough they will forever be affected by the breakup, but to be dragged through the middle of the turmoil adds insult to injury. Breakups and divorces happen, it’s inevitable, and some people just can’t continue to cohabitate. The problem begins when parents run out of ways to get back at the other, because the phone calls were blocked and temporary restraining orders placed. The only weapon left to use is the child, and parents are dead wrong for using this tactic.

Children don’t understand why negative things happen the way they do. All you know as a child is Daddy or Mama’s gone, and I’m being raised by one parent. Of course, being a single parent is not what God intended. Can a single mom or dad still be a good parent and competently raise a child? Of course. You can still be a productive role model to your child without verbally bashing the other parent. You don’t have to shine by telling your child how horrible his mama or daddy is, and you shouldn’t prevent them from seeing the child. I know plenty of women who don’t like their ex-husband’s new woman, so they forbid the child to see the father. What in the hell does your child have to do with the new girlfriend or wife? This is one of the most trifling scenarios I’ve ever witnessed. First of all, there has to be some jealousy involved, because what difference would it make what the new boo does, as long as she is not hurting the child. Some women get mad at the new partner because she buys the child stuff, gets their hair done, and simply loves them. You have to be a new fool to not want your child to experience the pleasures of three parents. This means the child gets three birthday gifts, and what child wouldn’t want that?