The Story Has a Secret

Chapter 1

Man, don’t you ever do that again

I felt mud splashing in my eyes.
I heard voices from above.
“Where is he?”
“Is he okay?”
Someone picked me up.
“Man, don’t you ever do that again!”
Someone crashed into us and the force catapulted me out of the car. I landed in a ditch. I was covered with mud. And it happened so quickly that I did not have time to be afraid.
As a child I blamed the driver, I attributed the cause of the accident to the driver. I did not have to acknowledge my feelings of fear. I was projecting.
Projection is a kind of defense mechanism that ascribes blame and hurtful emotions to another person or situation. A projection, or problem of attribution, whether situational or dispositional, is anytime I read something into another person or situation.
Projection begins the moment we forget that we are creating our own experience.
I define two types of interpersonal projection errors:
1) dispositional attribution, and
2) situational attribution.
The former refers to a situation when we attribute motives to a person's character or disposition; the latter refers to motives we attribute to circumstances beyond our control.
I committed the dispositional attribution error when I assigned the responsibility to the driver. Had I ascribed the accident only to the situation, I would have committed a situational attribution error.

Let me illustrate with the empty chair. It is a projection technique, developed by Fritz Perls and J.L. Moreno, designed to assist us in experiencing how we attribute our own characteristics to a person or object.
Look at my following example.

Chair 1 Chair 2

I sit on Chair Number 1. I speak to the driver sitting on Chair Number 2.
“Man, don’t you ever do that again.”
Now I reverse roles. I sit on Chair Number 2. I assume the position of the driver. I speak to my imaginary self who is sitting on Chair Number 1.
“Yes, I will be more careful the next time I am driving on this road.”
I reverse roles. I sit on Chair Number 1. I speak to Chair Number 2.
“Thanks. I learned that I catapulted through the air but landed on the ground. Next time, I will try to land on my feet and not my face.”
In this role reversal exercise, I took the position of the stranger as I projected him to be. I ascribed my own projection to myself sitting on the empty chair.
By owning my projection, I discovered that I was happy to be alive.
By not committing the attribution errors in my role play, I became more capable in coping with such unexpected future events.
The following is one of my favorite projection techniques that I use to become more aware of my projections:
Visualize the empty chair for a moment.

Chair 1 Chair 2

Sit on Chair Number 1.
Pay attention to any feelings you are having.
First, say something out loud to the projected image of the person you blamed. The person is sitting upon the empty Chair Number 2.
Finally, from the imagined perspective of the person you placed on Chair Number 2, speak to your imagined self who is sitting on Chair Number 1.
Did you become aware of the type of attribution error that you committed?
Were you able to change your perception, and change your negative feelings to positive ones?