The Secrets of Becoming a Boss Bitch with a Heart of Gold

You can surrender your life to this idea of fatalism and believe you can’t change your life, or you can adhere to causality. While many philosophers have offered their twist on this idea, essentially it means every outcome results from a prior action. You didn’t hit rock bottom because you were fated to. You hit rock bottom because of a series of events, and it’s time to take some accountability. Life isn’t out to hurt you; it’s just responding to your actions. Sure, some of the events might feel like they are not entirely your fault. Maybe you got laid off, or perhaps someone was mean, or you chose to date a narcissist, and as a result, you feel lifeless. However, this means the subsequent outcome will be based on your current actions. Rather than staying on the couch eating Cheetos and watching reruns of “Law and Order,” you can make an action plan. You can change your future. The first step is acknowledging that something is very wrong. Step 1: Recognition When you’re at rock bottom, it’s hell. It’s the bottom. It feels emotional and discouraging, and, to put it simply, it fucking sucks. The term “rock bottom” has found its way into many rehab courses, representing the moment you’ve reached your lowest point. You’ll know when you’re there because it is a horrible feeling. Your rock bottom may look different than another’s. One might refer to it as getting shitfaced on some illegal drugs and streaking across Las Vegas’s Hollywood Boulevard. Some may see it as failing a college course. We have all suffered in life, some greater than others, but this isn’t a competition of who suffered more; it’s about healing and feeling better. My rock bottom felt like I did too many tequila shots before stumbling backwards onto my best friend’s glass coffee table in her living room. As the glass shattered into a million pieces, I was on the verge of a mental breakdown. Did I admit this, though? No. I told everyone at the party that I was fine and to pass me some more tequila! Later, feeling like I was being stretched out on a gurney and wheeled into the emergency room, I was far more hurt than I wanted people to know, but I was still not ready to admit that I’d hit my lowest point. I thought that if I looked happy on the outside and drowned my pain in booze on the inside, everything would be okay. Recognizing you’ve reached the lowest point is the first and most crucial step. It is much easier to live in denial and to pretend everything is okay. However, I can promise you that no matter how well you think you are hiding it, eventually people will notice. Rock-bottom dwellers can describe the people who reach that point and take up residence there. They lose their job and instead of creating a new resume and handing it out, they pity themselves. They blame others. They blame life and believe it was just out to get them. When dumped, instead of taking the time to heal, they jump into bed with the first person who shows them an ounce of attention. Or they party every night, hoping alcohol or drugs will fill some void in their soul. There are many ways to describe this state of being, but I think you get the point that these individuals are careless with their lives. Rather than fixing their problems, they remain stagnant. You have a choice. You can stay at rock bottom, fearful of the climb back up. Or you can choose to reach your potential. You can choose a life that’s better than you ever dreamed. Becoming a Boss Bitch starts with recognizing something in your life is wrong and turning it into an opportunity for growth...