Miracle of Effort

Lisa woke up in the morning looking forward to her grandmother, Maria’s, 77th birthday party later that afternoon. It was a couple of days after Christmas and Lisa was very much in a festive mood. Four generations of the Morsillo family gathered on this late December day in 1999. Lisa was especially excited to see her cousin Donnie’s daughter, Thalia, and her cousin Janet’s daughter, Deanna. Thalia was born on August 20, 1997. Deanna was born 39 days earlier, on July 12.

It had been a few months since Lisa saw Thalia and Deanna. Lisa had so much fun playing with them and she loved watching her youngest cousins interact with each other. Lisa was entertained by Thalia’s ability to speak in both English and Spanish. Donnie’s wife, Lorena, was born in Barranquilla, Colombia. Lorena’s family moved to the United States when she was three years old. She was teaching Thalia how to say different words in Spanish. Lisa would ask Thalia, “say shoe in Spanish,” with Thalia being able to effortlessly reply, “zapato.” They were laughing every time Thalia showed off her talent. Lisa expected this family party to be another day of similar enjoyment with Thalia.

The day suddenly turned out to be vastly different than Lisa imagined. Lisa immediately noticed that Thalia was acting in a way that was not typical of how she normally behaved. Thalia was not paying any attention to Deanna. It was as if Thalia did not know who Deanna was. Thalia was not talking or interacting with anyone at the party. Thalia was not responding when someone called her name. She did not even turn her head to look at the person who was trying to get her attention. Thalia often had a blank look on her face. She was in her own world.

Lisa was startled and concerned. She became fixated on watching Thalia’s behavior. Lisa saw Thalia uncontrollably running around the restaurant where the party was held. Lisa observed Thalia repeatedly climbing onto a chair near a window where she would quickly and fiercely open and close the blinds. Thalia ran up to a table where people were sitting and she recklessly reached into a water glass to grab an ice cube. Thalia had no care about the consequences of breaking the glass and cutting herself or spilling water on the people as they sat at the table. Thalia then took off and resumed running around the restaurant.

Lorena spent most of the party chasing her daughter. Thalia ignored her mother’s pleas to slow down or to come sit at the table. Lorena got increasingly frightened as Thalia kept going near the top of the long staircase at the restaurant. Lorena continuously had to rush over to ensure that Thalia did not tumble down the stairs. Lorena had to raise her voice at one point to get the attention of some of the family members who were closer to the stairs so that they could catch Thalia before she might have fallen.

Lisa witnessed a tired and deflated look on Lorena’s face. Lisa saw a mother who had no explanation for her daughter’s behavior and who was working much harder than expected to calm her child. Lisa thought Lorena might have assumed that this is what it is like to raise a two-and-a-half-year-old child. Lisa felt that Lorena simply did not know any better in that it should not be this difficult.

Others at the party were seemingly not aware of Thalia’s alarming behavior. They probably thought that Thalia was just a rambunctious or excited child if they found the way she was acting peculiar. Lisa, however, understood that Thalia’s behavior was an indication of a problem for a child that age. Lisa believed that Thalia should have been playing with Deanna who was the same age and was someone with whom Thalia was familiar. Thalia ignoring her cousin was a huge cause of concern for Lisa. Thalia constantly running around the restaurant independently was another red-flag behavior. Lisa also thought that Thalia should have been aware of the potential danger of falling down a long staircase or carelessly reaching into a glass. Thalia had no fear.

Everything about the day was quickly becoming very emotional for Lisa. Her initial shock turned into a ferocious anxiety. Lisa was having difficulty processing what she was witnessing. She struggled to get clarity of her thoughts. Her mind was racing. She kept repeating to herself, “what is happening to Thalia?” Lisa could not completely focus on anything else that was happening at the party. Lisa was consumed with fear of what her young cousin might be suffering from.

Lisa had a great curiosity about Thalia’s situation, but she was conflicted at that moment about whether to approach Donnie and Lorena to get the answers to the many questions that were ravaging her brain. Lisa did not think that bluntly talking to them about Thalia’s behavior was an option, especially at her grandmother’s birthday party. Lisa could have asked Donnie and Lorena some benign questions, such as, “is Thalia always this excited?” Or, “does Thalia get to play with other children?” Lisa ultimately felt so overwhelmed that she did not initiate a conversation with Donnie and Lorena regarding Thalia’s behavior.

Lisa could not bring herself to ask her siblings, John and Tricia, or her boyfriend, Rich if they noticed anything unusual about how Thalia was acting. Lisa’s observations would have to the sufficient tool for which her suspicions about Thalia were raised. Lisa watched a scene the entire afternoon that was painfully obvious to her, but that nobody else was seeing. Lisa could have easily been brought to tears if she allowed herself.

Lisa remained silent. She maintained composure so that all of her other family members at the party had no idea what she was thinking. It was Lisa’s singular burden to deal with at this time. Lisa was emotionally drained and absolutely sick to her stomach by the end of the party. Lisa concealed her true feelings one final time when saying goodbye to Donnie, Lorena, and Thalia. She wondered if she might be wrong, but there were way too many signs. Lisa knew that a daunting path lie ahead for them if what she suspected about Thalia was true.