In the Embrace of the Past

Crossing the border It was surprising to me how I was able to remember his entire presentation word-for-word. We headed in the direction where that well-meaning man told us to go; we held on to each other's piece of clothing so as not to get lost in the absolute darkness of the moonless night. We started our climb along a part of the mountain overgrown with dense trees and thick underbrush that filled all the empty space underneath the trees. Climbing was simply impossible. Darkness, unknown terrain, a mountain full of animals. We did not even possess a knife. I remember people's stories about dark nights..." it was so dark you couldn't see a finger in front of your eye." It was such darkness. We would call each other quietly to make sure we were following closely. Edhem went first; that was his idea. Hasib was behind, and I was the last. After approximately two hours of walking through total darkness, I took a step with my right foot into a void, lost my balance, and found myself falling into emptiness, crashing through bushes and hitting solid ground. I lost consciousness for a brief moment, but a sharp pain on the right side of my rib cage quickly woke me up. I landed on something protruding from the ground. I could not breathe and was gasping for air. The more I tried to breathe, the more it hurt. I lay there for a while, faintly hearing Edhem and Hasib calling my name; they must have heard me moan from the excruciating pain. Finally, I managed to get up, but in total darkness, I could not orient myself. I was leaning to the right, trying to lessen the bruised and maybe cracked rib. I could not see where exactly my two friends were, so I asked them to keep on talking so that I could find where to start to climb out of the hole I was in, which, in my estimate, by listening to how distant their voices were was about ten feet deep. Following their faint voices, I began the climb, grabbing the branches of the overgrown shrubs and slowly pulling myself, trying to ignore the terrible pain coming from the right side of my rib cage. Fortunately, these bushes might have saved my life by slowing down my fall, preventing me from impaling myself on whatever I landed on at the bottom of the deep pit. The climb was practically vertical, and it was a slow, painful ascent. I had no idea how long it would take for me to get to Edhem and Hasib, but when I finally did, I was beyond exhaustion. I asked them to wait a bit so I could rest. I did not see them, but I knew they were there. Even though I could not see them, I could sense they were worried, not only about myself but the time we were losing. We continued walking again after a short break and kept talking quietly to keep connected. Sometime around midnight in that dark forest, we heard the breaking of branches, right in front of us and the direction we were going. We stopped and listened, the branches were being broken with ease, and by the sound of it could be concluded that were of thicker size. We were worried, but we had to go; quickly we decided that it was a bear; what else could break branches of that thickness in the mountain in the middle of the night? The unanimous decision was to continue in that direction so as not to lose our primary path. I searched with my foot on the ground and found a rock; I picked it up, and the way it felt in my hand, I estimated it to be five inches long and about three inches in width. I decided to go first, with Edhem following close to me. If a bear attacked, Edhem would strike a match, and I would hit the animal in the head with the rock in my hand. That was our plan and our defense. I know it sounds crazy and comical now, but in that moment and in those circumstances, we had no other choice. This was not some heroism; it was fear mixed with a minute spark of a chance for survival. I was not naive, for as these difficult situations require difficult decisions. This was one of those decisions, the struggle for survival. Edhem accepted the proposal, prepared a match, and we set off. Edhem with a match, and I with a rock in my hand. The branches kept on rustling and breaking; it was a terrifying sound. We were slowly approaching in the direction from which the awful noise was coming. The closer we got the less commotion was heard. This surprised us and scared us even more; we did not know if it meant the beast was leaving or waiting to attack. We stopped. There was absolute silence accompanied by absolute darkness. Uncertainty and fear overcame me; I felt cold, and my body started to shiver. We started to walk, step by step, in slow motion, firmly convinced of our plan. Silence, I squeezed the rock in my hand and whispered to Edhem to pick up the pace. We passed what I thought was the place of the commotion, but nothing moved. Our nerves were at the breaking point. Was the animal waiting to attack? We continued with our climb, moving away from the place of fear and discomfort as the terrain was getting steeper and more difficult to climb. Occasionally, we would stop to rest our lungs and muscles for just a few minutes and then move on. Sometime before dawn, the forest began to thin out, and in about half an hour, it completely disappeared. In front of us stood a bare, steep mountain whose top we could not see from the fog, which hid it with its wool-like cloak. We had to be on the ground since there was no forest to hide us. Despite fatigue and sleeplessness, we gained new strength, knowing that we were on the right path, according to how our mentor instructed us. We started to look for the trail that soldiers used. The border was within our rich, half an hour or so.