I Was Just Standing There Being Stupid
by
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Chapter 16 The Angelic Economic Disbursement Department Let’s review the situation. Chapter nine is where we’re contemplating the assignment of supporting the existence of God and my mental electrodes were starting to short circuit. No conclusive evidence was available. Dead end streets of thought were backlogged. I finally ponder the rather comical option of bringing a Bible to class and testifying that I have zero proof of God’s existence but here’s the Jewish story. In the mist of this novel idea the large chandelier hanging in the living room started swinging back and forth with an unexplainable pendulum distance of one foot to one foot. Climatic weather? Foundation slippage? Earthquake in Nebraska? Ghosts? I’m debating the existence of God. Not ghosts. What else could I do, besides ask the most universal question of mankind. “Why are you dragging us through this f--king hell? Upon this rather abrasive inquiry, a beautiful blue light then beams out of a black and white TV, and the next thing I know I’m waking up under the scrutinizing looks of my roommates that seemed to ask, “Whatever you were on last night, we’re signing up for tonight.” It was a supernatural phenomenon that could not be explained. I was the rock-solid atheist that argued that God couldn’t possibly exist and in ten seconds I became a stone that couldn’t be moved. I have no idea how God began but he began. If the church and mankind tumbles and falls, I will still be pondering God’s reasoning behind it all. How about the resurrection of Susan? Instant deliverance in a bar? No twelve step program. No Maharishi burning incense. Simply one person simply stating to another, “Jesus is the only way.” Jesus? The son of God? The Jewish family was warned repeatedly not to except a false Messiah wandering out of the wilderness and the next thing you know you’ve got a man strolling into Jerusalem with this motley group of followers proclaiming that he is that very person. He claims to be the “I Am. The Holy One himself.” Without any credentials beyond healing the blind and raising the dead, he insinuates that he is God the creator of the beginning and the end who simply created himself as a human by giving birth to himself within a human. It was so complicated they had to crucify him, which allowed him authority to spiritually resurrect Susan in a bar two thousand years later. Toss that into the theological blender. Let’s not forget the tale of Crazy George. Why would I stop in the middle of the night, out in the middle of nowhere, to pick up a strange hitchhiker while transporting a bale of marijuana across the country? What sort of trance was I in and what possessed me to pick up the possessed? Was it an invitation into the dark side of spiritual insanity? A galactic awareness class that examines troubled minds having troubled conversations with unknown invisible elements hiding within the mind? How about the trillion to one odds that a petite young lady would travel through space and time so she could arrive in my driveway with a message of warning within a fraction of second of me saying, “Lord I don’t know if I can handle this one.” How do we explain the demonic mental activity that begins to occur after her warning, “You know not what’s in your house?” “You know not what’s in your house?” How about, “Let me introduce myself? I’m Satan and I’m the one sitting in your chair?” Talk about entering into the strange room. Have we read too many Marvel comic books? Has Stan Lee infiltrated our imagination, or did God create his opposite so we could understand who he is. How could we be cold if we’ve never been hot? How would we recognize love without knowing hate? How do we determine the difference between absolute truth and a sweet little lie. How does wisdom separate faith from fear? How about the distance between God and nothingness? Is it designed within belief itself? If that’s not enough to wonder about, how did two mysterious dreams occur ten years apart, with one number being alternated between them? A message transcribed to warn me that calamity will befall me if I go forward with my plans. Was it simply a mental memo posted on the refrigerator door of my mind or was it a recognized communication from another dimension? How about that little rambunctious scarf waving, glory hallelujah church scene where out of the spiritual mouth of an absolute stranger, I’m read the Holy Ghost riot act that basically says, “I’ve got you covered but don’t screw this one up.” Let us not forget the Consequence of Sin Courtroom? Sin defined as anything that is out of the will of God. The courtroom that is never adjourned. There’s even an eternal revolving door for the perpetually dysfunctional. The sprinkling of blood? Burnt sacrifices? Leviticus 7 8:7 The Trespass Offering is like the Sin Offering. There is one law for both. The Law? The don’t mess with God’s rule book. The Hell bound train is leaving the station! How about the poor soul who is simply picking up sticks on the Sabbath in Numbers 15 32:36. “Then the Lord says to Moses, tell the people to drag his sorry ass out of the camp and stone him to death!” My God what have I got myself into here? How do we sleep at night? With all of this spiritual testimony at my fingertips you would think I would become a hot dog at the hot dog stand. The head monk at monk headquarters. The revelator of revelations. Instead, I was given a mule ride into the desert for forty years. I thought I’d be there for a few months. A year at the most. Dear God in heaven, forty years plus! Punishment handed down? I know I can’t pay my bill but forty years? Forty years and I’m still here. Bleak people, bleak. Troubles on the horizon. Rough terrain. Drought like conditions. Emotional roller coaster rides. Financial upheavals. Forty years of flipping the mental light switch on to see if there was any further revelation on the why of it all. How did I survive forty years plus? How did all of this just happen? How did I keep trudging along with no idea of how it was all going to play out. How is it possible that just when fatigue was overwhelming me, a tranquil breeze of calm would spiritually signal that an oasis of normalcy was just over the horizon. Rest, simple rest. Is it all orchestrated? Is there circumstantial evidence that proves it just didn’t happen? Fruit and water pooling geographically on a trail where rain never falls? How does the desert bloom into provision? Is it God’s fundamental classroom that lectures on the strange obscure element called faith. We know we didn’t do it, but it happened anyway. He did it more than once so he must be planning to do it again. There was manna this morning so should we be confident that there will be manna tomorrow morning? Do we become complacent? Inattentive? Does the pattern of receiving provision within the daily ritual of survival on the Planet Earth program become so unnotable that God’s not necessary and if God is not necessary why should he need to exist? Deserts? They’re a peculiar place. In the meantime, for all of us who are still out in the desert because we flunked Crybaby 101 for the millionth time the question persists. Does God, despite the Law of Rapid Failure, have an accounting firm of Angels allocating provision at precise times to keep us horde of galactic trespassers above water? Is the science of Who Gets What, When, Where and Why actually a spiritual equation and the Dow Jones Average depends upon it as much as the fisherman drifting out into deep water. Does the “With Me or Without Me” thesis become the key to the equation?
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About the Book
How does one unexplainable event alter the entire thinking pattern of a lifelong atheist in the matter of ten seconds? Mystery is always a solid foundation for literary appeal, but the book is mainly directed toward the larger audience of the spiritually curious. The story line could be for those on the edge of belief, who seek rest beyond the question or the book could possibly be destined to land in the hands of someone preparing to walk through their last door. The supernaturally inquisitive might even want to view it as another perspective on the dimensional universe. Hopefully, the atheistic/agnostic crowd, to whom the author was once king patriarch, would see his testimony as a bridge to a merciful God, who is the professor of all knowledge, and has no intention of flunking anyone. What could be peculiar would be the banning of the book from religious bookshelves by the Pews of Perpetual Condemnation. The book may appear rather provocative to this legalistic group. The reader will become the jury on its spiritual value. Most of all, this book is not a religious crusade. The last thing this planet needs is another religious band-wagon parading down Main Street.
About the Author
The author is simply a guilty bystander to events that have no rational explanation. Once an unshakeable denier of the existence of God, who utilized historical strife, human woe, and the irrational concept that there was an all-knowing creator over seeing this nightmare, allowed him the credibility to write the manifesto that states, “God cannot possibly exist.” One major unexplainable would reverse this entire thesis. The equation changed. A new perspective had to be initiated. Life altering to the point, a book was necessary.