Don’t Touch My Sauce!

Sally straightened her dress for the eighteenth time. She looked in the mirror. Her hair was back and she was wearing the floral hair piece she’d worn to her wedding. It was a tiny ring of white roses that went around the crown of her head as her soft brown curls fell around her face to go down her shoulders. She couldn’t help but remember that day when she’d gotten married, all of their hopes and dreams…. Her eyes filled with tears. “No!” She said to herself. Her whole family was downstairs waiting for her to be normal. She had to wonder if she would ever be normal again. Was it possible? Tears streamed down her cheeks and she tried angrily to wipe them away. Her whole family was downstairs, she reminded herself. She ran to the wine bottle that she kept under her bed. She hurriedly grabbed an anxiety med and gulped it down. Her breathing was picking up again, as she wondered how she could withstand a birthday party with everyone’s eyes on her and appear to be normal. She really just wanted to crawl back into bed and sleep until she died. She wouldn’t do that to them. Her family couldn’t withstand a second death. Really that fact was the only thing that kept her alive, she reflected. She felt another wave of anger toward Alejandro. How could he take his own life and rob her of her time with him? What about the children they had planned to have together? It took her twenty minutes to stop shaking and to get her tears under control. Her friend had called anxiety meds a drink in a pill and she was right. Her nerves steadied, she surveyed herself in the mirror, applied some eye make-up and went downstairs. Her mother met her halfway up the stairs. Carmina stopped, touched her daughter’s hair with one hand and kissed her cheek. “I’ll walk down with you, baby,” she whispered. She grabbed Sally’s hand and they both descended the stairs together. Sally was feeling a bit dazed now, and so it didn’t occur to her that her mother had stood at the bottom of the stairs waiting for her for twenty minutes. She was merely glad to have someone to walk into the dining room with her. The family was loudly talking and laughing. A few said hello, but tried not to overwhelm her. She sat between her mother and Sabrina, and her sister grabbed her hand and gave it a squeeze. It took her a moment to look at her sister and smile. Sabrina had tears in her eyes, and it gave Sally pause for a moment. She reached an unstable hand out to the wine glass before her and took a big gulp. The family continued to chat. They all sensed inherently that giving Sally excessive attention would be too much for her and so they glanced furtively at her as they ate. She picked at her food, but they appreciated the effort. She was able to get through the dessert and open presents with small absent-minded smiles before the three glasses of wine from dinner caught up with her. She fell asleep on the couch as the family watched Eddie rehearse for his part in a play. Junior wordlessly carried her upstairs. His sister had lost at least thirty pounds and her clothing now hung on her. The new dress she wore today was the only thing she owned that really fit her. He felt tears well in his throat as he looked down at his sister, only at peace in her sleep. But he would go back to the crowd in a moment. He snuck into the kitchen, taking the back stairway. An adept bartender, he preferred the simplicity of whiskey and cola. He was on his second drink when his father and brother joined him. It was typical of their family, the women lounged on the couches, chatted and drank wine with the occasional chocolate. The men congregated in the kitchen for a drink and sometimes a cigar. It was a custom of antiquity, but they adhered to it without any thought. “Liza?” he asked Manny. Manny just shrugged in return. Junior made their drinks deftly, his father, a whiskey neat; Manny, a whiskey water because he hated soda. “Saliana?” His father asked him. “In bed, she had a big day,” Junior gave a small smile as he placed their drinks in front of them at their little bar. They nodded in return. There were few words between them, but they enjoyed their drink and the company just the same. Meanwhile, the women chatted quietly, so as not to wake little Eddie who had fallen asleep on his grandfather’s recliner. “He looks so little in that big chair,” Carmina smiled. “He’s already almost five feet tall, Mama,” Sebastiana said. “That’s because Alan’s a giant,” Sabrina giggled. “Do you think she had fun?” Sebastiana asked the others about Sally. Everyone grew serious. Carmina sighed heavily. “She’s always sleeping,” she said the wine made her voice tremble a little as she got more emotional when she was tipsy. “It’s a side effect of the meds, Mami,” Sebastiana said. “I know, I know. You and Manny both tell me that,” Carmina sighed again. “If it helps her get through this Mama, it’s worth it,” Sabrina rubbed her mother’s arm. “You know how much she loved him.” They were all silent for a moment. Their silence was interrupted by a large snore. They looked over at Grandma, who was sleeping sitting up with her mouth side open. Carmina, Sebastiana and Sabrina erupted into low giggles. “Was it something we said?” Sabrina asked. “She worked all day in the kitchen,” Carmina smiled. “You know how she is about protecting her sauce.” The men in the other room even laughed, as they heard all three women shout unitedly, “Don’ FUCK with the sauce!”