TIP OF THE SPEAR
Be your child’s biggest influencer when it comes to drug prevention and intervention
by
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I got the call at 7am. Angie was frantic because her son Michael woke to find that she had thrown out his stash of wax - a powerful marijuana concentrate that can induce significant psychotic behavior. He was now standing in their kitchen clutching a knife, his arms bloodied from self inflicted wounds and threatening to stab her and himself if she did not return his weed. I had Angie put me on speaker phone so I could talk to Michael, trying to calm him while my mind was racing as to how to get the police over there as quickly as possible. Soon, after having a conversation that went from anger to tears, he put the knife on the counter and ran out of the house. A few minutes later the police found him bloodied and crying. Fortunately, a year and a half later and after a lot of hard work, Michael was enrolled at a community college, had a girlfriend, and on his way to a healthier life. He was also very aware of what could have been had that morning ended differently. Be Aware. Be Educated. Be Involved. Study after study has shown, overwhelmingly, that parents who are involved in their child’s life can impact that life substantially and are, in fact, the best intervention to prevent teen drug abuse. But the right involvement with measured intervention is crucial. Ahead, we are going to look at the pros and cons of different strategies and how to get involved in a way that will have the most impact on your child and not make matters worse. We’ll discuss why a consequence that is too severe can be detrimental and why too much intervention can be as harmful as none at all. We’ll look at why rewards are better than punishment, how to instill accountability along with rules and expectations and how to provide your child with correct and good information that will help them make better choices. Working with families over the years, I found that it was the willing parent with a strategy of intervention that had the most impact on their child. You know their dreams and their faults, their strengths and their flaws, what makes them laugh and what makes them cry. You are the best person to help them and after you read this book you will be able to marshal your forces, engage with partners, educate your child and win this fight. It won’t be done in one day but everyday is an opportunity to make progress. It takes perseverance, grit, determination, connection... and love. The Articles of Action were designed specifically to empower parents and give them the information and strategies needed when it comes to substance abuse prevention and intervention for their child. It was created with the help of juvenile probation officers, juvenile court judges, therapists, teachers, psychologists and doctors. Literally hundreds of years of experience and dedication by people who were capable of recognizing not only what we had done right over the years but what we had gotten wrong. Read the true stories of parents who battled for their child’s health, welfare and, at times, their life; what they did, what they should have done and what they wished they had done differently. The Articles of Action looks at substance use from every angle, from cause and correlation to consequences and control along with multiple modes of parental involvement and monitoring. We will look at everything from how to have that initial conversation about drugs to the world of juvenile court and potential legal consequences of their actions. You will learn how to prepare a prevention plan for the 9 year old who has yet to be tempted by the outside world or an intervention plan for the 17 year old approaching adulthood with a substance abuse disorder. Every Article of Action delves into the details of the what, the when and the why of substance abuse and how you can apply it to your own circumstances. We will also look at the indicators of drug use to help you determine whether or not your child is using and, if so, to what extent. However, be warned - if you think your child is using drugs the chances are you’re right and if you think you know how much - triple it.
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About the Book
BOOK REVIEW of The Tip of the Spear by David Vieth Kopeny
by Bernard Glos, Ph.D., Licensed Clinical Psychologist with expertise in forensic
psychology, addiction and violence/threat assessment
In my five decades of professional work, rarely have I come across a book
like this one. It is unbelievably well written. First, it is fact based, both in
terms of drugs and human behavior. It carefully integrates relevant stories of
young people and parents to make the factual content much more relatable.
Importantly, it clearly illuminates the key role parents have in preventing
or dealing with their children’s substance use. The book not only identifies
everything a parent needs to know, it does so in such a clear and simple
way that both understanding and application are easy for the reader. There
are clear strategies in how to prevent drug use but also clear interventions
to address such use if it is already occurring. Although the teen age years
cause teenagers to over-connect with peers and other outside influences,
parents can still have a powerful impact. They can help their child not be
overly influenced or pressured by their peers. So often, my work with teens
was stymied by parents unwilling to get involved. A family is a system and a
child or teen is part of that system. For example, merely changing a battery
in a car without checking and replacing a defective starter motor will not
get things moving! A look at the “big picture” is needed, which this volume
does unbelievably well. The author discusses how to facilitate a school
connection as it plays a key role in not only prevention and intervention
but adolescent growth and other developmental activities as well. At the
end, the author sees his work as a strategy for hope. So often, when young
people get involved with drugs or other addictive behaviors, parents throw
up their hands in frustration and try to get the issue “fixed” elsewhere. If
you read this book, you as a parent will know what to do. YOU are the fix!
About the Author
David Vieth Kopeny has over 30 years experience working with teens and their families in various capacities; teacher, counselor, probation officer, and Private Investigator specializing in adolescent drug intervention. He has dedicated his life to teaching and preparing parents to be the difference when it comes to drugs and their child.