1972

Sherry stood coyly behind Kimoni while he looked up at the ceiling, put a finger to his lips in contemplation, and began, “Well, let me see now, where do I start? I could start with the wonderful view of the river as it flowed beneath us. Or I could mention the Southern cuisine and all of its finest, greasy flavors, which we enjoyed. No, that’s not it either. I tried the alligator, and that was different; it tasted like chicken, only tougher, but no, that’s not quite the right spot to start. Oh! Wait. I know! Sherry pulled a knife from the belt of a six-foot-tall redneck who was hitting on her, while pulling his head back, by his long blond hair. She then put the knife beneath his chin, pushing it in just enough to draw blood.”
“What the fuck?” Jeremiah, Eddie, and Frank blurted out simultaneously with their eyes bulging out and mouths a gasp while staring at Sherry.
“Wait, there’s more! Not to be outdone, I kicked his partner, who, at the time, had one hand around my neck, in the nuts, sending him to the floor in pain. Then I threatened to stab him with a broken ketchup bottle that I broke across the back of a chair and flung the red sauce across his chest while he was lying on the floor. When the owner came running out to break things up, the younger one started crying about his father’s knife and wanted it back, and your new girlfriend here threw his knife from where we were standing onto the loading dock and actually stuck the knife straight up at least fifteen feet below. You had to be there to believe it. And that, my friend, alone, was worth the ticket to the whole disgusting event.”
Frank stepped back from Sherry unconsciously.
Kimoni continued, “Hold on, hold on, now let me think, was there anything else? Oh yeah, I think there was some small talk, regarding a certain butthead we all know. But that was about it. Yeah, that was it.” Looking smug, Kimoni stopped talking. Everyone’s eyes were wide open, their mouths were gasping, and the room was silent.
Eddie was the first to break the silence. “Aww, I call bullshit on that one.”
Kimoni said, “No, it’s a fact. And listen to this. After she drew blood, the fat old redneck who had me by the neck and collar let me go. So, I guess you could say she saved my life today, yeah, she saved my life!”
“Unbelievable, Un-fucking-believable.”
“Believe it, Bro, this girl, she’s not one to… hmmm… how do I say it? Trifle with? Yeah, that’s the word. Do not trifle with this girl, she will kick your ass, fillet your sorry ass, and feed you to the gators. You should’ve seen the tall, stupid one chasing his knife down those rickety ass stairs like it was a sucker on Halloween.” Sherry hid her face and giggled. “I might’ve gotten a little carried away.”
“So, where do you think those assholes came from?” Jeremiah asked.
“They were talking about a clubhouse somewhere on the river.”
Jeremiah asked, “So, are you guys all right? I just can’t imagine you having to go through all that.” He walked over to Sherry and wrapped his arms around her. She held him firmly in her embrace, and Jeremiah stepped back in disbelief. Looking at Kimoni, he asked her, “Who really saved who?”
Sherry shrugged. “I didn’t try to save anyone.”
“She saved me, dude. Are you questioning me?”
Jeremiah responded. “Dude, I can see you standing up for her. But the knife thing?
Was that real?”
Kimoni replied sarcastically. “Hmm, let’s try this. I’ll give her a knife, and you find out for yourself.”
Sherry looked coldly at Kimoni. And snapped. “Shut up, Kim. Jeremiah, can you get me something to drink?”
“Sure!” Jeremiah responded. “Well, it’s been one of those days, hasn’t it? While you two were kicking redneck ass on the river, I was kicking Shadrack’s ass for leaving a sugar cube of acid in the kitchen. My mother was looking for some sugar for her coffee this morning while she was waiting for me to get ready. And she started getting off when we were sitting in the pews at church.”
Kimoni said, “Oh fuck! Remember me running to the car before you guys drove off this morning and asking if you had any sugar cubes? He must’ve left one behind when he laid them out for sale.”
“I think you’re right about that!”
Sherry “Oh my God, Oh my God, is she all right? That’s horrible. Who’s taking care of her?”
“My Aunt B worked in a triage tent at Woodstock and was able to bring her down quickly. Ironically, the new preacher was preaching the separation of the races when she started laughing uncontrollably. She was laughing so hard that she fell out of the pew. They had to call an ambulance for her.”
“What in the hell is going on here? This is beyond strange. Where’s Rod Serling hiding? That’s what I want to know!”
Sherry grabbed Jeremiah’s hand and walked out to the front porch to be alone and comfort him. She put her arms around Jeremiah, as much to comfort herself as to comfort him, while she took in the day’s events and the stories from this morning. It all seemed to be so unreal and overwhelming.
Kimoni asked, “Did I just hear water running a few moments ago?”
Jeremiah turned to look at Kimoni as he walked out front, his eyes were bugging out in fear as he tried to wave him off. Kimoni’s head turned slightly to the side, trying to understand what Jeremiah was trying to tell him. From the living room, Frank chimed in. “That was probably Johanne, she came in early this morning to rest before going home.”
“Oh, God! Just when I thought it couldn’t get any stranger,” said Eddie. “This is going to get ugly!”
Moments later, Johanne walked out into the living room from Jeremiah’s bedroom, grinning from ear to ear.