Mickey Swager

“Look, Amelia, it doesn’t matter what I feel or what has happened to me. I don’t even know you…shit…I don’t want to know you! If things were different...well…sure…you are very attractive. But everything you have done has put my life and my business in jeopardy. Abducted at gunpoint, almost killed by one of your goons, you have involved me in a drug-running operation, and you sit here talking as if I should feel lucky that you are infatuated with me. Can’t you see that you are totally illogical? When I think of that gun in your purse, I see death waiting to happen.”

“There is no logic to love! I know what I’ve done is wrong in your eyes, but I wasn’t born in a normal family. I only have my father and brother as examples. My mother died giving birth to me. I know what you are going to say, “that’s no excuse,” and I know it isn’t. Meeting you is giving me a much broader look at life…I can change…I know I can.”

“After investigating me, you should realize how different I am from you. I hope to have a normal relationship someday, maybe even get married and raise a family. You don’t fit into that picture.”

“You don’t even have anyone in mind. I, on the other hand, already know who I want to marry. It may take some doing, but I’ll fight like hell to get you. I know that I’m running ahead of myself, but you’re leaving tomorrow…there’s just no time…and I can’t help how I feel.”

The sincerity in her beautiful eyes, her lovely face, her gentle touching, and the smell of her perfume, played havoc with my senses. I simply had to get out of this situation. I believed myself to be a master at the game of seduction, but she was better. I had to let her know that I wasn’t prepared to be killed over a one night stand.

“I’m sorry…but you’re barking up the wrong tree.”

“Would you give up if you were in love with someone?”

“If the situation were as impossible as this one…yeah, I would. As a matter of fact, what you feel is probably not love at all but a teenage crush. Now, will you please take me back to my hotel, better yet, call me a cab. This situation is impossible for us both, and I have no intention of continuing this insanity.”

She didn’t say anything more and called Robbie. She held firmly onto my arm. I didn’t stop her when she rested her head against my shoulder. Too soon, the limo stopped at my hotel, and she reluctantly let go of my arm. I saw her eyes getting moist. It wasn’t easy walking across the parking lot, knowing that her eyes were following me. I weakened…and winced when I saw the reflection of the limo lights in the hotel doors. An affair with her would not have been a one night stand but could have lasted a lifetime, however long or short that would be, considering my association with this gangster family.

The limo was still parked at the far end of the driveway. I just couldn’t turn and look because I didn’t want her to think that I had a change of heart.

A bellhop came towards me as soon as I entered the hotel doors and he gave me a note. I read it while I walked towards the elevator.

“Please, Mr. Swager, meet me outside as soon as you get this note, very urgent!”

I didn’t know anyone in the area, and supposedly, no one knew where he was. How did the bellhop know me? I hesitated. Perhaps it was Amelia…but that wasn’t possible she had been with me ever since we first met on the dock. Besides, she had had her say. Had her father arranged something ahead of time? Intrigued and puzzled, I walked back out and noticed that the limo hadn’t moved. I looked around. There didn’t seem to be anyone approaching or waiting. Suddenly a gunshot echoed. There was a strange sensation in my chest, then a burning pain. I slowly sagged down, realizing I’d been shot. I saw a small tear in my shirt and a patch of bright, red blood. The shooter was a pro, aiming for my heart.

Amelia came running towards me. She knelt down and tried to hold me upright, but I sagged sideways on her lap. With my head cradled in her arms, I knew I was dying. Was she so twisted or obsessed with me that she had me shot? I’d often prayed for death during the lonely nights after I lost Maggie. I couldn’t help but smile. My life was ending under a beautiful clear sky, in a hotel parking lot. I looked up at the sky and saw the stars. As a child, I had been taught that the soul goes to heaven after death. But I didn’t believe in heaven, so I focused on the brightest star, hoping it to be mine.

The pain was gone, I felt numb and short of breath. I had always believed death to be as natural as birth. I now experienced that it was just as I imagined, soft and gentle, not vengeful but forgiving. I was paying my dues for the mistakes of my life. I was paying for the killings. I’d lived by the sword, so I felt no need to forgive my assassin. I felt at peace in her arms while her tears dripped onto my face as she frantically screamed for help.